No. Who knew two letters, one word could set you free? It’s a small word that seems to be more and more difficult to use. It isn’t something that just rolls off the tongue. We sort of pause and stammer and reach for an excuse. There are many times I feel most of us want to say “no”. So why is it so difficult? I believe it’s the pressure to be liked, to be all the things to all the people. To not upset anyone has become so important we forgot that what we actually want is important too.
- No more.
- No thank you.
- No I will not take part in your negativity.
- No thank you, I’m tired and not up to hanging out tonight.
- No I’m actually not ok with your inability to respect the boundaries I have set.
- No more pretending.
- No more not speaking my truth.
- No more guilt for saying “no” when I need to.
- No I’m not ok with the way you treated me.
The list could go on and on. What would you add to this list? When we begin to use the word “no” more frequently we also begin to save yes for things that really matter to us. Yes becomes special, reserved for what is deserving of our time, energy, and love. Start taking note of who and what you’re saying “yes” to. Is it to the things you actually want to do? Is it to a person who actually deserves your time or love? Is it to a behavior you do not want in your life any longer? Is “yes” being used with people who don’t show up for you more than the friends and family who do show up? My goal for this year is to get more comfortable with the word “no”. No more feeling awkward and to start being honest about what I need, want, and deserve. Sometimes you simply can not do all the things, or be all the things to everyone in your life. Set yourself free and just say no!