It’s been a year since I started my business. It’s so crazy that it’s only been a year. It feels like decades, but in the best way. I feel happy and calm. It’s like my soul finally is freed to be and do what it was put here to do. Somedays I think about just how amazing the entire journey has been.
I’ve had some of the most amazing people come into my life. Some were here for a short period of time and others I know are here to stay. The year has been filled with milestones and lessons. All of which keep pushing me to jump out of my comfort zone. Each time I do I stand a little bit taller, and get a little bit braver.
I know there are people who used to be in my life who critize what I’m doing. Who say I’ve changed with an eye roll. They laugh and say “ I know her, she’s nothing like that”. There are plenty of people always hoping you fall on your face and fail. It’s ok, that noise doesn’t rattle me. You want to know why? I’ve been them. I’ve been the person projecting my misery, insecurities, and trauma all over anyone showing the slightest bit of overwhelming Joy, success, or motivation. Other people’s success use to trigger this response in me because it made me feel “less than”. I’ve since learned that no one can make me feel “less than”. I did that to myself. I was not happy with where I was in my life. Other people’s joy or success felt fake to me because I myself wasn’t feeling joy or success. It’s way easier to tear someone down than look in the mirror and fix the parts of yourself making you feel that way.
So I get it. I can’t judge because I have been that person. I know it’s coming from a place of hurt. I don’t take it personal, it’s not about me at all. Those are not my people and they don’t have to be. I HAVE changed in a lot of ways. I am not who I was 6 months ago, let alone a year or two ago. I’m guessing 6 months from now I’ll be a little different too. I’m not better than before, I’m just different than before. “Better than” is just a thing we do to make each other feel bad about ourselves. I was exactly who I needed to be 6 months ago, a year ago and even 10 years ago. I’m not trying to be better than anyone. That scale isn’t real. Who’s to say what’s better or worse? I am merely being unapologetically ME. The awesome thing about that is, there’s zero competition to be had, because you can’t be ME anymore than I can be YOU.
Why am I talking about this instead of the sunshiney successful parts of the past year? Because my story is a fusion of both. I’d rather talk about the uncomfortable stuff too. Acknowledge that people are going to be unkind and that you get to choose whether or not it upsets you.
We are all being met with the doubt planters every single day. The people who like you in your comfort zones and make you feel afraid to venture into the unknown. Whether it’s in your personal life, business life or both they are everywhere. I’m here to tell you to start listening and taking inventory of who these people are. Stop living for other people’s approval and do YOU. Allow yourself to get uncomfortable and try new things. Anyone not willing to support you and lift you up is not your people. Let people say whatever they want to say about you.
This last year has taught me so much. I will never again conform to someone else’s expectation of me. I now leap where I use to step back. I no longer put my worth into other people’s opinions. I also can see people coming at me in a different light. I’m not in defense mode anymore. I just simply don’t engage. I don’t put my energy into anything not meant for me.
Most of all I found a level of gratitude that I’m not sure I can fully articulate. Each and every day I wake up to work at a business I’ve created for myself, at a shop that I’ve built along side my dear friend Shanna. Each day I’m overwhelmed with excitement, pride and gratitude. To call this work feels like a joke. I’m doing what I love, and it feels like I’m finally living.
To every person who has read this blog and supported my business…Thank you! Without you I wouldn’t still be here a year later. 💛