This past year is one I’ll never forget. It’s not just because we lived in a global pandemic, although that is certainly a big part of it. 2020 has been a year of big lessons, growth, and so much learning. Ten years from now I will look back on this year, as one that changed everything and forced me out of comfort zones in ways I have never done before.
The year began with a newly started business with my dear friend Shanna. We jumped into the idea a week before Christmas and had our first sale on January 1, 2020. It was such an exciting time. We were road tripping to wholesalers to buy crystals and figuring out the business side of things. Most people don’t realize that Shanna and I were in the very beginning of our friendship. We had not known each other long, so we were getting to know each other as friends and business partners. The transition has been relatively smooth sailing due to the fact that we are so incredibly different. The polar opposites of our personalities is the very reason Morganite & Moonstone jives so well. Shanna loves and feels in big ways, and brings a joyful childlike fun to our business and friendship. She is spontaneous and flows with whatever comes her way. I’m more reserved, stoic, reading peoples energies and analyzing those around me. I tend to need order and structure and staying on task. Put us together and we seem to draw out the parts of each other we each need. I need to loosen up sometimes, and she needs to be more grounded. It is a delicate balance that works because we each bring unique strengths into our business.
A few months into the year Morganite & Moonstone was slowly increasing sales just as the pandemic was headed to United States. There it was the first curve ball of the year. We had no idea what we were in for. It was an uncertain time to be running a small business. Each time we faced a challenge we just adjusted to whatever was headed our way. We began to work on building a website as a way to reach customers during a time when shopping in store wasn’t a possibility. When I say “we” I mean Shanna. She quickly took to designing our website and I’m so grateful she did. She did an amazing job on it.
While the world was panicking, I was feeling oddly calm. I felt like the universe was giving me oppotunines to leave people and places that had become toxic. I was finding I was really examining what was holding me back, and who were authentically my friends. The months of February- July were some of the hardest yet most rewarding months of my life. My individual business was doing really well, Morganite & Moonstone was growing each week but I was feeling weighed down by choices I knew I had to make but had been putting off.
It’s difficult to let relationships go, even the ones you know aren’t good for you. It is so difficult to walk away from something or someone you at one time respected and loved. To leave a place where it literally all began for me was hard. I began to set up boundaries and not look back or apologize. I was able to walk away from people and places with love and gratitude in a way that I couldn’t in years past. Anything projected back to me fell away from me unable to reach my ego or soul. Where ever I have been and where ever I go is absolutely meant for me at that time, and that includes the people in it. There is a lesson in every relationship you have. I’m so grateful for every person and every lesson this year has brought me. I’ve learned that grace is important for myself and others. I have wholeheartedly lived by The 4 Agreements “Don’t take anything personal”. If you see through peoples harsh words and actions you’ll get a glimpse at their pain. Not giving energy to that is a game changer in my life. Wish people well, and don’t look back.
When I finally decided to fully let go of the things that I felt weren’t allowing me to be 100% authentically me. I took the biggest leap of faith and believed in myself in a way I don’t think I ever have. The last week of June I called up Shanna and said ” Hey what do you think about Morganite & Moonstone relocating to Woodville?” She didn’t even pause. That following week we were signing a lease and making plans. It has been full speed ahead ever since. The week before we signed that lease ( 5 days to be exact) I had asked my guides to help me find a place closer to home to do reiki. At the time I was really thinking a room to rent, something small. The commute was getting difficult with my kids home and not in school. I asked for help with zero expectation of what or where that would be. I got a call a couple days later from my friend saying the place next door to her business was for rent. That’s the thing about believing in yourself. When you do, you can manifest your dreams in a way you can’t when you hold ourself back. June 2020 taught me that I can dream big and do big things if I don’t factor in anyone else’s opinion of me. No one can get in my way unless I allow it. No one can trigger me unless I allow them too. I get to decide where I go and what I do with my life.
Morganite & Moonstone opened up our very own shop in Woodville, OH. Shanna and I fell in love with a beautiful rug and built the shop up around it. My favorite memory of decorating is us laying on that rug at the furniture store. We were like two kids at Christmas, so excited to be in a place that felt like “us”. We got the new shop up and running in about a week and put together a Women’s retreat in the midst of all of it. It’s been a whirlwind ever since.
The amount of love and support we got in the beginning and even now brings us to tears somedays. I am so grateful to be doing what I love every single day. The people I meet come from all walks of life yet have so much in common. It’s really a beautiful thing when you think about it. Those of you who come back time and time again, trusting me with your healing have no idea how much it means to me. Each time you refer me to the people you love, I’m honored. I will never not be grateful. I appreciate your faith in me, it is a big part of where my faith in myself began.
So while the world was changing, I was changing right along with it. There were moments of fear or panic in the beginning, but I made a choice to not get caught up in it. I tried to stay away from the news because it would send me into panic mode. I’m fortunate that my husband and I both continued to work during the quarantine and months to follow. I think this year had some of the most difficult months of my marriage. We hadn’t spent that much time with each other since the early years of dating. Let me tell you, 24/7 as a 21 year old sleeping in and eating out vs 24/7 together at almost 40 raising kids, paying bills, and being stuck in a house is not even close to the same thing haha. It was stressful and forced us to communicate in ways we hadn’t in years. Throw in the fact that I went from a SAHM to owning a business and working all the time, and there were many things we both needed to adjust to.
As we round out 2020, we are finally finding the balance we so desperately needed. It turns out we love each other, our kid and the life we’ve built. We just had to get to know each other again. This year and the pandemic made me see things I might have otherwise missed in a normal non stop, go-go-go year. I realized that my husband and I have changed so much in 18 years, especially the last 5 years. You have to keep checking in an adjusting to each other, or you start to feel the other slipping away. I learned that I don’t ever want to take my husband or my life for granted. I think I’ve been guilty of that many times in the past. This year has been a lot of thing, but it has forced me to see what really matters and let every single thing that doesn’t matter go.
Goodbye 2020, you’re one for the record books! You were relentless with the curveballs and pushes to get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable. Phew, this year was intense! Change is scary, illness is scary, healing is scary, uncertainty is scary. It’s okay to be scared sometimes, we just have to be careful not sit there too long. We have to keep living, because living in fear isn’t living. Adjust, adapt, and live, really live. Go after the thing you’re terrified to do for fear you might fail. You’ll never know until you leap. If I can leap, so can you! I hope 2021 brings you closer to the people you love, and has you chasing the life you deserve.
Happy New Year,